I had a party a few weeks ago, and I asked for friends to help me write this post, granted most of them weren’t single, but Debs was the only one who stepped up. Thanks Debs, this has been a timely reminder of some things for me. It was great to write with you.
1. We don’t have to consult or consider anyone else when buying things. For me (Sarah), that’s definitely food, I know if I had a husband he might object to eating stilton with crackers for dinner 4 times a week. And for me (Debs), it is buying clothes and spending money at Lush.
2. We can travel wherever we like. As a result, I (Debs) have travelled all over the world and had many adventures. One Christmas, I went and stayed with my cousins who are missionaries in Africa. It was an expensive trip but they all said how great it was that I went to visit them. If I wasn’t single, I probably would not have made the trip. I am so glad I did.
3. We get to invest in others children like we couldn’t if we had our own. As a single people, we get to play an important role in my friends’ children. As we have the time, we get to hang out and be an important role model for them. We love the role that we play and know the parents of the children really appreciate the time and effort we put in.
4. We can just make a decision. Whether that be that we want pizza for dinner, or that we want to give all of our money to the poor. It’s just up to us. It may even be that we are out shopping and someone asks us to the movies. We can make that decision in split second without having to consult anyone.
5. We have the hope of something. We, both of us agree that we might never marry, but there’s this anticipation that we might. Equally, we don’t wake up every morning, and look at the person next us and think; ‘goodness me, you’ll be the first thing I see every morning until one of us dies’. We don’t feel like we’ve settled.
6. We have to make friends. When we move to somewhere new, or start attending a new church, or join a club, we have to put ourselves out there, we can’t just sit in our flat with our husbands or go to services and only talk to the man we’re sat next to. For that we are very, very grateful, not least for the fact that a lot of our friends spouses are incredibly boring.
7. We have friends of all ages. One of the things that I (Debs) absolutely love is that friendship groups range from the young to the old.
8. We haven’t had our last first kisses yet. At least we’re assuming that.
9. We have no ties. If we want to go to be missionaries in North Korea, that is absolutely possible. Or if we think God might be calling us to be vicars it makes the whole process a heck of a lot simpler.
10. We’re everyone’s favourite Auntie. I (Sarah) was with cousin’s daughter, recently and she said to me; ‘Sarah if your sister asks me who my favorutie is, I’ll just say “hummm…” and I won’t give her an answer, so that I don’t have to lie, because you’re my actual favourite.’ She is 3! I love that.
11. We can offer things to people that we wouldn’t be able to if we were married. I’m (Sarah) a live in nanny, that wouldn’t be possible should I have a husband. I (Debs) am able to put 100 per cent into my job as a teacher and have many rewarding moments with my students.
12. We don’t have to share a bed.
13. We don’t have to share a bathroom. And take as long as we like in the shower, and the only crap we smell is our own.
14. No one refers to us as ‘wife’ like it’s a name, not a role.
15. We don’t have the luxury of someone else being our ‘other half’. We have to be a whole person on our own and we kind of like that. The only person who completes us is Jesus.
16. We don’t have arguments about who’s going to put out the rubbish or do the dishes. On the downside, we do it all ourselves.
17. We only need to clean up after ourselves. If there’s a mess in our home, there’s a good chance we made it ourselves.
18. We can invite others over on a whim.
19. If we want to work late we can. If we choose to write all night, or stay up late to finish a school project, those decisions only effect us.
20. We get to defy expectations. People think that if you get to our ages and you’re unmarried that either there’s something wrong with you, or you’re unhappy. We are neither, and if freaks people out.
21. We decide, independently, how much is an appropriate sum to spend on shoes. That goes for clothes, bags, cappuccinos, tea and books and Lush products and it’s not just the stuff we but but the amount we spend.
22. We’re forced out of our comfort zone. Just like we are forced to make friends; we can be forced to do other things that we might not get the opportunity to do if we had a spouse.
23. We can be spontaneous. Or we can not be spontaneous, but it’s our choice entirely.
24. When there’s one space, we can take it. If there’s one space left on a holiday or a trip, or a ticket for a gig, or a bed on a barge holiday we can take it.
25. We get to be smug singles. We seen you, we’ve seen you for years, you’re married and you think it’s a badge of honour that you’ve earned. We’re the same, mostly when we converse with your spouses.
26. People don’t ask you when you’re going to have kids. They may ask you when you’re going to settle down, but kids are off the agenda. IDEAL.
27. You can be a go-to friend. I (Debs) have a go-to friend. Very useful, particularly when the power goes out and you have no candles. No matter what time of the night – you can always rely on your go-to friend.
28. We can flirt outrageously. Pete Gray. Enough said.
29. You can choose what movies you see without having to consider anyone else. I (Debs) was talking to a friend who is married about this and this is definitely a perk of being single. My friend has had to compromise on movies with her husband. More often than not, she has to settle for a `boy’ movie.
30. Life is simple. We may have hard stuff in our lives, but things are generally simple, that is something not to be taken for granted.
Please don’t get us wrong; there are plenty of things we don’t enjoy about being single. We’d both probably say that we’d like to marry one day, however, for as long as this time lasts, we’ll spend it enjoying ourselves. And we resolve not to be those girls who are so desperate to get married that every single man within a 3 mile radius knows it, or those ones who are always grumpy because they don’t have a husband.
That said, if you’re in the market for a wife, email firstname.lastname@example.org and ask for either of our numbers.
Debs loves life, loves adventure, loves trying new things, and traveling to exciting places. Born on an Australian farm; spent her childhood dreaming what the big world was like. Several years later, armed with a uni degree, she made my way over to the UK (a dream she’d had since childhood). 9 years later, she’s still here, teaching amazing kids, having fun and traveling to exciting places. Life is unexpected – although it hasn’t turned out how she’d expected, she is not disappointed, she has had some amazing adventures.