Sarah McCarten

Thirty things which I have failed at. A guest post from Max Bayliss.

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thirty_things Max is one of the good ones. I was so happy when he said he’d contribute. He’s very wise for such a young one, especially considering he didn’t really go to school. Love you Max.

Call me a morally impoverished, morbid masochistic microcosm  but I enjoy a bit of failure. Lets be honest,  im not alone. At its worst failure is crippling, at its best it exposes & dispels fear.
As to my failures some of theses are due to lack of effort & finesse  but many more are down to my complete lack of competency. And just for fun I will let you decide which is which.

1. Being borne on time and with out fuss.

2. Pulling off roll necks.

3. Maths GCSE.

4. Isleham Fun Run 1999.

5. Isleham Fun Run 2000.

6. Isleham Fun Run 2001.

7. Isleham Fun Run 2002.

8. Staying in contact with good friends that deserve more.

9. Learning the piano.

10. Every spiritual discipline.

11. Keeping my room tidy for more than two weeks at a time.

12. Budgeting.

13. Listening. It is not good enough to simply wait patiently for someone to stop talking.

14. Sharpening my kitchen knife on a regular basis so as not to swear at the onions I am trying to dice.

15. Ironing my shirts. Iron your shirts.

16. Buy a Big Issue with out making a big issue.

17. Forgetting the negatives.

18. Chewing chewing gum without making that really annoying popping sound.

19. Monogamy with books. I normally put them down on two pages from the end so as to keep the flame alive. I am currently reading 13 and I and am scandalously in love  with them all!

20.  Not drinking mid week. Wine is such a wonderful thing.

21. Exercising  pure empathy.

22. Finding a person other than my girlfriend who knows the song ‘who’s pigs are these?’ Any takers?

23. Enjoying popular culture music. As old as I sound it really is mindless dribble.

24. Slam-dunking a basket ball.

25. Beating Duncan at cards games.

26. Letting go of things that I cannot change.

27. Walking up a flight of stairs.

28. Controlling my tea habit. It’s pretty silly really.

29. Playing FIFA. I just can’t manage it.

30. Laughing at toilet humour. It’s not funny. Not funny.


Max lives in Watford with some nice chaps & works with adults with disabilities. He didn’t go to school but is trying to make up for it. In September he is going to train to be an Anglican priest. Max tweets here.


Author: sarahmccarten

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