Sarah McCarten

Some thoughts on being a girl.


My friend received a book for Christmas; it’s called A Guide for Modern Gentlemen. He got it from his girlfriend –  I wonder if she’s trying to tell him something? It got me thinking; apart from those Wild at Heart/Captivating books [which, incidentally, only left me feeling angry and disappointed with myself] I’d never really read anything with a Christian slant. I had a look around, I looked on and perused our church bookshop, and I didn’t really find anything that appealed in printed and bound material. I did however find a wealth of helpful information online.

I had a lot of fun reading a lot of blogs.

The thing that I noticed overwhelmingly is that most, but not all, people want men to behave like men and women to behave like women.

This goes for me too, and I never really realised it before now.

I’m struck by my almost automatic disinclination towards men who are not chivalrous. I’m not talking about young men that I have dated or I’m interested in dating. I’m talking about the general male population. I really like kind men.

I didn’t always feel like this.

I love that there are men in my life who I can call up and ask for their help –  when I have a full car that needs unloading, or need some furniture built. I love that there is a man in my life who always checks if I need my rubbish putting out when he leaves my house, even if he’s only been visiting for a cup of tea. I love that when we go walking in the woods there are men who offer me their arm or take my hand through particularly muddy parts. I love that I have men in my life who carry the bags and hold the door for me.

I didn’t always feel like this.

I love that these men do these things without the ulterior motive of becoming involved with me romantically.

I didn’t always feel like this.

I love these men because they do these things to help me, rather than to disempower me.

I didn’t always feel like this.

For a long time I thought that the young men who treated me like a young lady wanted to control me or take something from me. Sometimes this is exactly what they wanted, but for the most part they were simply kind men.

I feel a great sense of regret for the times in my life when I’ve not let the men in my life act like gentlemen. I wanted to be a strong woman, (I still do), but went about it in entirely the wrong way.

Making a man feel like less of a man does not help me feel like a strong woman. Even if it did, that doesn’t make it right.

Author: sarahmccarten

4 thoughts on “Some thoughts on being a girl.

  1. Really Sarah? Next you’ll be writing about how you love to sew and talk about babies whilst the men drink port in the next room and talk about politics. Deary me.

    • Thanks Max, if only I had a drawing room to which you could retire, that would be a real treat! Yes, it is best for you men to talk about politics without us, the last time we thought about politics there was all that bother with the suffragettes, and what a kerfuffle that was!

  2. I like this. Thanks sarah. I used to think in a similar way. Then I got over it.

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